Love And Your Life: July 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Cons of Having an Affair with a Married Man

What makes a smart woman stupid is by having an affair with a married man. But this is not a new issue to begin with. It’s not entirely a foreign issue for us, really. Women from the olden times, even famous and intelligent ones are fairly involved in extramarital affairs. And it drags on till today. So, it’s rather ironic to call these women stupid because most of those involved in love affairs with married man (and I mean seriously falling in love and not due to some conspiracy or anything) are smart, intelligent and women of high profile in nature. Love is wonderful, but at certain point in life, by taking a simple wrong step can tarnish your life forever.

If you asked a woman who is having an intimate relationship with a married man on nothing but merely love basis the question why they would let herself suffer like that and being treated nothing more like a mistress, they’ll probably have only one sentence to reply to you, which is the often-heard ‘You won’t know how I feel because you’re not in my shoe’. But do we have to be in their shoe to actually know how’s it feel like? After all, when something like this happens to someone dear to us, take our friends or sisters for example, we probably be hurt too just by watching how they are going through all that affair thing as part of their life.

There is only one simple cure to save yourself from this emotional blunder that if you’ve taken up the risk will have a huge toll on your life, and the sad part is that it may affect your mind a lifetime. Like it or not, extramarital dating is a dangerous game.

If you feel like you’re in the verge of falling in love with a married man, stop there right now! Well, it’s after, your choice in life but take some time to answer these questions and think it all through.

Is it worth it to have an affair with a married man?

You will be showered with his pretty promises that 99% of the times, but he won’t be able to make it. He will say stuff about leaving his wife and all, but they rarely did in real life stories. You’ll be living in a fake dreams, a world of your own, small and timid and full of blurry edges. Will you still think it’s worth to waste your precious time away with this kind of man?

Why a married man?

There’s plenty of men out there, single and available. If you’re grudging the fact that most single guys are useless and hopeless, what about married man? Are they hopeful and useful for you? Emotionally? In a long period of time, will the relationship still be comforting for you? You may say it’s only for a play-around but as you age, you’ll probably think of a more committed relationship, a bind through marriage. If you happened to not know that he was married and got into a relationship, think this: Do you really think you could fall in love with a man who lied to you about his marital status in the first place?

Are you prepared for the long wait?

Yes, in the beginning (and maybe till the end), are you ready for the long wait? Promises after promises, year after year, he’s still not ready to leave his family for you. Most of the time, it’s pretty regular for man to decide that they want to make their marriage work after all. So, if you get to your sense and think simple, as this question to yourself, if he loves you, if he really loves you, he’d probably have already left his wife for you, right from the beginning. And when he says that hell leave his wife someday, you believe him again, and you’ll be back at base one of the never-ending circle only to find out in the end, that being together is impossible.

Being a mistress simply means that you are and always be the second priority, the one to be sacrificed, to be left behind and only be there for comfort. Sometimes, it seems the relationship was more sexual than like a real relationship of commitment. Some women even fall for the ‘My wife doesn’t treat me good’ kind of trick. That guy may say all the bad things about his wife but never leave her. Why? Because he’s just playing you, using you for his own leisure and comfort. Cause, if he’s really having a conflict with his wife, and have fallen out of love, he would have left her before he even knew you.

Many women who were involved in extramarital relationship and love have learned their lesson, and most of the time, the hard way. Are you willing to live your life in that transparent confinement? Only you have the answers, and the will to save yourself from this cruel blunder.

No related posts.

“What’s Love Got To Do With It” - Factors and Causes of Divorce?

It takes a lot more than love to keep your marriage vows.

That’s the awful truth. Sad, but it’s the truth that people have to face. But perhaps we have been warned beforehand - by none other than Tina Turner through her shout outs while singing ‘What’s Love Got to Do with It’. I’ve always like the song ever since my high school years, but back then, little do I know how much it reflects our real life situation.

Fairy tales may have long polluted our minds with the abundant possibilities of happily ever after, but as we grow up, we know more that it takes more than just love to have a happy ending. Marriage problems can arise from various problems. Factors like a couple’s age, past relationships and bindings, children, family and parents, money as well as developing interest of a partner are taken into the bigger picture of what it takes to get a marriage alive, going and kicking.

According to findings made by Australian researchers with regard to the extent of how can a couple’s age effects a marriage has found out that a couple with a huge age gap is more likely to get divorced. I guess the old ways doesn’t work anymore in this era where we lived in, where women in the olden days married their husband who is way older than they are most of the time. Besides, few other findings by other nations also shown that couples, who got married at a very young age too, find it difficult sticking to their marriage contract.

Some people say, ‘let bygones be bygones’ but I guess not so much in a marriage. Your past matters more now than before. The finding also found that partners who have married more than once are 90% likely to get a divorce than those who are in their first marriage. It doesn’t get any better with partners who had children from their previous marriage. Here’s the shocking truth:-

” …with one-fifth of couples who have children before marriage - either from a previous relation or in the same relationship - having separated compared to 9% of couples without children born before marriage.”

That’s one-fifth ratio! It’s like for every hundred couples, 20 of them are having marriage trouble just because of the children. But here’s the big issue, was it really the children? Or was it just due to the couple’s humungous ego? Since another factor that could damage a marriage is trivial matters on the issue of existing or developing interest. Some people might find it a little funny that because of a hobby of watching football games or playing computer games can lead to divorce. But it happens, and it happens a lot.

Psychologically, an individual parents play an important role too, which I agree because personally I think, most of us, whether we realize it or not put our parents as our closest role models. We might often hear the words ‘oh! If you can do it, why can’t I?’. People with a broken family are more like to face troubles with their own marriage compared to those whose parents did not separate.

Money is always a killer. Well, people could kill one another for money. No wonder, it is one of the main causes of divorce. In a statistic by a country (in south-east asia) alone, where about 70 to 80% of divorce cases are caused by lack of financial responsibilities by either both or one of the partners.

Maybe we should just set some time to evaluate ourselves. We all want a happy ever after kind of marriage, but remember not everyone is perfect, including ourselves. Marriage isn’t simple but it’s worth a journey to take in life. It’s up to you to make it up to the challenge.

Is the World Out of Single Men?

It was kind of amusing to know the fact that while I was writing an article about single successful women having affair with married men, it was actually happening right under my nose. Maybe I did hit it at the right time.

A few days ago I went to see this good friend of mine who works in a place not too far from where I was working for a lunch at a medium class restaurant not too far from both of our workplace. Why I chose that place was probably quieter than any other restaurants around since the food was rather expensive for a luncheon to begin with. But, anyway I fancy the indulgence once in a while, and plus, the food is good too.

So there we were sitting and talking like old friends does, and we also start asking about each other’s love life. That was when she confessed of her intimate affair with a man, who is someone else’s husband. I kept my cool and try to react as professional as I can. She was pretty and I kinda of understand why she has resorted to this kind of love relationship, but I couldn’t help myself wondering if it’s all worthwhile. She was of higher rank in position than the guy and all I can think of is him using her.

I may not know how it feels like, truly but I can imagine ‘if’ the person I’m in love with is a married man, what would I do? What would you do? Is it a point of no return? Is love always this cruel? There goes the string of questions.

Honestly, I can’t say she’s in the wrong or right, but one thing I can say is that we human are stronger than we think we are. And we’re strong enough to walk away from all these problems and live a problem-free life. Why want to mess with other people’s life if someday we get ours messed up back? Like the old rocker saying - what we give we get back right? You can’t say it’s fate either. Because I believe we have the power to change it still, as long as we breathe. The choice is totally ours. Yes, of course you may love him with all you’ve got but let’s face it - he’s some other people’s property, and virtues stated that you shouldn’t trespass on other people’s property.

And then again back to the question - is the world out of single men? Not, but the world may be lack of eligible and single men with good life’s prospect. I think I’ll discuss that in another writer’s block in the future.

Friendship and Love: Best Friends Forever

Love comes in all forms, including friendship. What should best friends do?

Friends come and go, but later, they’ll come again. You’ve just got to admit it, there are times when you need your friends, more than your family. It’s pretty complicated actually but even if the truth hurts or disappoint you, you just have to accept it. There are things you can’t do with your family but you’re able to do so with your friends and vice versa. That’s how things go, that circumscribed friendship. But if you’re able to perceive this freely, you won’t have to experience severe heartbreak with friend’s related problems.

Remember, your friends are people too, and they are a bunch of people with their own families and worries. So, don’t blame them when they can’t be there ALL the time, even if they are your best friends. But a good friend will always offer you their sympathy and care even if they can’t physically be there beside you. They’ll give you a short phone call at least, even when they’re really busy. But when they don’t, your best bet is to assume they’re just as stressed as you are.

Your friends have feelings too. They get jealous, angry, heartbroken and even moody sometimes. There are even best friends who backstabbed one another, quarrel and fight over things. But only to see yourself finding way back to each other. You’re pretty used to this you say and it’ll be lonely and incomplete without those fights. Because you know what, friends should forgive and forget. Even though it starts on a new loop it’s fine because accepting them, should be on the bad and the good sides.

Yes, a friend can hurt you. Because we can’t read each others mind. So one thing you can do is to say sorry often for your invisible sins and misbehaviors towards your friend. That should be able to set the alarm in their mind, and it’s perfectly applicable in cases of the ugly truths being said and will be said in the future.
If you’re expecting trust from your best friends, you can, partially because no one’s perfect. And even if the dishonesty revealed made you fall, expect them to be the one to bring you up again. If they’re a real good friend, they will support you standing back up again, and later put the smile back on your face. The world is not a setting of fairy tales. They’ll be sad moments and happy moments, and so it goes with your best friend. That’s love and friendship for everyone - the truth everyone have to learn to accept.

Don’t worry, be happy! Read some Best Friends Forever Poems

More Motivational, Inspirational Quotes and Sayings

Motivation, I’d say is a necessity in life. No one can get over something without words of courage, whether loudly or silently said. Sometimes, certain motivation and inspiration will be inculcated in our head without us realizing it, and when in the time we need to hear and think it through again, it’ll eventually come back to head. I’ve prepared another string of good words of motivation and quotes for you. Enjoy and learn.

Without your involvement you can’t succeed.
With your involvement you can’t fail.
-Anonymous

Do not face a problem as A problem but face it as
A Challenge; Problems will come and will go
-AnIzma

What is the Secret of SUCCESS… ?
“RIGHT DECISIONS”
How do you make Right Decisions… ? “EXPERIENCE”
How do you get Experience.. . ?
“WRONG DECISIONS ”
-Anonymous

Lead me from deathn to life,
From falsehood to truth
Lead me from despair to hope,
From fear to trust
Lead me from hate to love,
From war to peace
Let peace fill our heart, our world, our universe.
-Satish Kumar; Indian writer (1937)

How small of all that human hearts endure,
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure.
Still to ourselves in every place consigned,
Our own felicity we make or find.
-Samuel Johnson; English poet

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair.
-Samuel Johnson; English poet

Life is like playing violin solo in public,
And learning the instrument as one goes on.
-Samuel Butler; English novelist

If we believe a thing to be bad,
And if we have a right to prevent it,
It is our duty to try to prevent it and to damn the consequences.
-Alfred, 1st Viscount Milner (1854-1925); British Colonial Administrator

Virtue could see to do what Virtue would
By her own radiant light, though sun and moon
Were in the flat sea sunk. And wisdom’s self
Oft seeks to sweet retired solitude,
Where with her best nurse Contemplation,
She plumes her feathers, and lets grow her wings
That in the various bustle of resort
Were all to-ruffled, and sometimes impaired.
He that has light within his own clear breast
May sit i’ the centre, and enjoy bright day,
But he that hides a dark soul, and foul thoughts
Benighted walks under the midday sun;
Himself is his own dungeon.
-John Milton; English poet

Absolute morality is the regulation of conduct in such a way that pain shall not be inflicted.
-Herbert Spencer; English philosopher

Progress, therefore, is not an accident, but a necessity…it is a part of nature.
-Herbert Spencer; English philosopher

10 Simple Truths for Living a Life You Love

Blog Entries by Carolyn Rubenstein

10 Simple Truths for Living a Life You Love

Posted May 12, 2010 | 02:31 PM (EST)

Over the past six weeks, I have been conducting idea discovery sessions with fabulous individuals. These one-on-one sessions have illuminated 10 basic truths that I believe are essential for living a life you love. This list is not exhaustive; rather, it...